By way of introduction

Sometimes, when you can't keep up with the first blog that you started, because you're kind of a flake about stuff like that, you find yourself thinking..."what I really need to do is start ANOTHER blog!"


Well, that is, if you're me.


So, who am I?

My name is Anela. I'm 6'1" and 33 years old. I love to read, cook, travel, and run, to name just a few. I am a teacher, which gives me the stability of having an income to support myself on and the freedom of lots of time off to see my family, friends, and the world in general. I am at times funny, emotional, sad, witty, irrational, spiritual, passionate, snobbish, tenderhearted, generous, silly, lonely, logical, humorous and flawed. I make amazing guacamole, cookies, and bread, for starters. I am educated, with both a BA and an MA in Linguistics, and a teaching license for grades K-6. I find incredible serenity in water, and love being at the beach or out on a boat in the ocean deep-sea fishing.  I laugh, often and sometimes raucously, usually at myself but sometimes at others. Learning is my passion. I love to read, especially kids' and young adult books because they have good stories without all the sex and other trash that are so prevalent in adult literature. I eat too much ice cream. I cry when I see animal cruelty. I am a neat freak. I play the piano in reality, and the guitar mostly in my imaginary world (meaning I have about 6 songs in my repertoire). I have a healthy sense of humor and joke around a lot.  I love strategy games, even when I lose. I'm okay with not winning, but I always try to beat my own personal records. I adore my nieces and nephews and sacrifice all kinds of money, time and sleep to be able to play with them (I am the reigning Favorite Aunt).


I could go on, and on, and ON about all the things that make me Anela, but, instead, I will try to actually get to my point now.


Which is...


I am...


wait for it...


STILL SINGLE.




As in...NOT MARRIED. Solo. Alone. Sans husband. Just me.


Now, I realize that to many people, being single at the age of 33 is no big deal. But I am single AND Mormon. Seriously, in Mormon years, I'm like ancient. Old and decrepit. One foot in the grave. Might as well give up all hope now...


You get the idea.


Anyhow, I've recently been reading some blogs about Mormons who are actively living our Church's standards, but who struggle with Same Sex Attraction (in other words, they are gay).  Please don't misunderstand.  That is not my struggle.  But as I was reading, I was touched by their words and especially by their pleas for love, compassion, understanding and support as they live their "atypical" Mormon lives--not fitting into the stereotypical "Mormon Cookie-Cutter Mold" that is often associated with those of our faith.  As I read their words it came to my mind that I, too, lead an "atypical" Mormon life.  I too, find myself not fitting into the mold, especially since I am single and attending a family ward.  I have struggled over the years to find and accept my place as a single woman in a church that strongly values families and children. Sometimes, I feel like I have figured a few things out and I feel a sense of peace and calm assurity about my place in life.  At other times, I am angry, frustrated, and confused by things that don't seem rational or fair.  By no means have I got it all figured out.  I am just a single woman, trying to navigate my way through life and find the path that is right for me, to find purpose and meaning and joy in my life.  


Now, just to be clear--I am in no way equating my struggles with being single in the Church to the struggles of same-sex attraction.  I have realized, however, while reading those blogs, that these days, a LOT of us don't fit into the TYPICAL MOLD anymore.  There are many out there struggling to find their place in the Church for any number of different reasons and personal circumstances.  To any who may be reading this who are having those feelings of disconnect with the Church or church members, for whatever reason--you are NOT ALONE.  


Each of us has struggles and heartaches that we face.  Some people face their trials and challenges in ways that are very public and easy to see.  For others, it may be that their trials comes at the quiet moments of solitude, that their desperations and agonizing turmoil are only felt within, that their tears fall silently and unnoticed by others in the dark, solitary silence of 3am insomnia.  


To those who, like myself, most often face the "inward" kind of trials and challenges, the kind you can't see or taste, smell or hear, please know this:  You are NEVER ALONE.  There is a Father in Heaven who is there in the moments of solitude, who understands the silent agony you feel, who counts your tears, who knows your secret hopes and desires, and HE LOVES YOU, even if you don't fit the TYPICAL MOLD of the majority of His Church members.  


Too often, I feel that people focus on the ways that we, as Church members, are different.  They find reason to criticize others within the Church for being "different," or to criticize themselves for being different from the stereotypical norm.  They get angry, lash out and ridicule those around them to make their own circumstances feel less foreign and atypical.  


That is not my policy.


I choose, instead, to focus on things that I have in common with other members of the Church.  When it comes to members of my faith, I start with just that--our faith.  I can walk into any LDS (Mormon) Church building in the world, and regardless of differences in race, age, gender, education level, language, socioeconomic status, hobbies, bank account balances, favorite sports' teams, skin color, eye color, hair color, shoe size, political leaning, or favorite ice cream flavor, I can find a room full of people who love Heavenly Father and the Savior, Jesus Christ, and believe that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's church here on the earth.  


That is what I choose to focus on.


This blog comes as a surprise to me.  I have never aspired to be a blogger.  I barely read other people's blogs (no offense, people).  For years I was content to go along my merry way, blissfully blog-free.  And then, 2 1/2 years ago, I felt the inspiration to start blogging about my struggles to try and get in shape.  I haven't posted a ton.  But I have put into writing the very real struggles that I have faced, daily, weekly, monthly, throughout my life.  And, to be honest, if I have helped even ONE person with my words, my very honest, blunt, hopefully humorous words, then I consider that blog a win.


I feel the same way about this one.  I had no intention of starting another blog.  Heck, I have enough trouble trying to remember to post on the other one!  But, I have felt inspired that perhaps my honesty, my willingness to share what I have faced and still struggle with, my ability to laugh at myself, make things into a joke, my thick skin and willingness to share humiliations and embarrassments, weaknesses, incredible wit (haha), epiphanies, funny dating stories, personal faux paux, and most importantly, my deep love for my Savior will in some way be a help to at least one other person out there.


Have no fear.  I am not a she-woman-man-hater.  I have no intention to bash on guys, but I  will share some of my personal dating stories (not to fret, the names will be changed to protect the guilty--lol) just so you can understand more of where I am coming from.


I am 33 years old.


I am Mormon.  


I am HAPPY!

And, I am, Seriously...STILL Single!